Why Teachers go grey...

Why Teachers go grey...

 TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
 STUDENT: Here it is!
 TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
 CLASS: George!!

 TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn''t have 10
 years ago.
 WILLY: Me!!

 SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
 STUDENT: No, I''m Billy Anderson.

 TEACHER: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?
 STUDENT: I get up early.

 TEACHER: Didn''t you promise to behave?
 STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
 TEACHER: And didn''t I promise to punish you if you didn''t?
 STUDENT: Yes Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don''t expect you to keep
 yours.

 TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
 STUDENT: Well, I''m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

 HAROLD: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn''t do?
 TEACHER: Of course not.
 HAROLD: Good, because I didn''t do my homework.

 TEACHER: Why are you late?
 WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
 TEACHER: What sign?
 STUDENT: The one that says, "School Ahead, Slow Children crossing."

 TEACHER: I hope I didn''t see you looking at Don''s paper.
 JOHN: I hope you didn''t either.

 GARY: I don''t think I deserve a zero on this test.
 TEACHER: I agree, but it''s the lowest mark I can give you.

 MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
 JUNIOR: Because of absence.
 MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
 JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.

 SYLVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
 FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
 SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

 TEACHER: Well, at least there''s one thing I can say about your son.
 FATHER: What''s that?
 TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn''t be cheating.

 TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
 SAMMY: You can''t fool me, teacher....snakes don''t have feet!

 HYGIENE TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
 STUDENT: Don''t bite any.

 TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
 ELLEN: I is....
 TEACHER: No, Ellen, Always say "I am."
 ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet".

 TEACHER: Max, use "defeat", "defense", and "detail" in a sentence.
 MAX: The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defense before
 detail.

 MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
 JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money.

 TEACHER: If you received $10 from 10 people, what would you get?
 SASHA: A new bike.

 TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many
 dollars would you have?
 VINCENT: One dollar.
 TEACHER: (sadly) You don''t know your arithmetic.
 VINCENT: (sadly) You don''t know my father.

 TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other,
 what would I have?
 CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!!

 BOY: Isn''t the principal a dummy!
 GIRL: Say, do you know who I am?
 BOY: No.
 GIRL: I''m the principal''s daughter.
 BOY: And do you know who I am?
 GIRL: No.
 BOY: Thank Goodness!!