Tired of Male Bashing?

FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE-BASHING JOKES

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
closer to the kitchen sink.
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Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was
Always.
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I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to
interrupt her.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex
drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring,
Suffering.
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Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God
created Man and rested. Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God
nor
Man has rested.
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Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
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A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive
and said, "I haven't eaten anything for days."
She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
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Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
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A man inserted an advertisement in the classified:
Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all
said the same thing: "You can have mine."
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to
forget it once.